Funny Quotes

Caught Amy's Quote Fever. =D

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
( Pretty weird way to describe friendship. =p)

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
( Totally agree! )

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

( True...)

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
( Love it! That's why we should enjoy life. =D)

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
( HAHAHAhahaha....)

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
( *evil grin* )

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
( I agree! )

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
( Personal favourite =D)

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
( Hell yea, especially profanities. )

He who laughs last didn't get it.
( Makes me think of Tina)

When there's a will, I want to be in it.
( what happened to the good 'ol " when there's a will, there's a way???!!!")

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
( Real handy tip eh? )

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
( HAHAHAahahahaa....that's why I don't fish)

The road to success is always under construction.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true.

Katherine Hepburn