Smile, some?

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Listening to this song makes me wonder when was the last time I was truly, really happy.

I want my smile back....

I want myself back....

Perfection?

Perfection...

The strive, the drive, the need to be perfect..

The voices in your head..

Your thoughts being controlled by an invisible force..

The willingness to inflict harm on yourself...

Just for that perfection.

It hurts.

It feeds on the pain.

It grows and becomes an obsession.

Eventually you'll lose yourself.

.....

She sat in the corner trying desperately to claw away at the darkness engulfing her. She tried desperately to resist the shadow clouding her thoughts and judgements. She wanted the taunting in her head to stop. She wanted it to stop , she wanted to take control and break free from the swelling darkness. Her hands didn't seem to belong to her anymore. Her brain seemed to be under the clutches of some unseen force.

When it finally did stop, she hated the feeling that overwhelmed her. She hated her actions. She hated herself for losing control. She hated herself.