Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Pieces of me

You are the one that sets the rules for me,
The standards. the goals, the requirements,
You're the one that sets the highest expectations for me,
You're the one that makes me strives for perfection,
You're the one that compares me to others,
You're the one that feeds on my insecurities and lack of confidence,
And measures my self-worth based on how much I'm able to accomplish,
You're the one that clouds my thoughts, judgements and perceptions about myself,
You're the one that overwhelms me with feelings of remorse and guilt for even the tiniest slip-up,
You're the one that enjoys denying me any sort of pleasure,
And for every once of pleasure,
You punish me ten times worser,
You suck the life out of me,
You ensure everything goes according to a rigid plan,
You do not welcome changes of any sort,
You're the stronger side of me,
And also the darker side of me,
You push me to my limits,
even way past my breaking point,
You make me achieve what I have achieved,
yet you tear me apart in the process.
I have to learn to let go of you,
even though you are the one that holds most of me together by your rigid set of rules,
But those rules do not allow me to live the life I want,
At least if I let you go,
I might finally get to live.


But then again, its hard to break away from a part of yourself,
A stronger part of yourself.

4 comments:

CHARLENE.C said...

hey fren
just do ur best as u always do is more than enough
let go of IT, don let IT take control of ur life
life is so much more than that
cheer up yea
smiles always----> =)))

Chocoholic said...

thanks darl =)

qi ying said...

hey keren, u can let go of it slowly. just take a small step at a time. don let it punish u when u let go.don go think bout it. im sure u'll b able to let it go aft some time! u have 2 work towards tat goal keren, if not it'll b harder to cope in ur medical years. im telling myself this also! we jia you 2gether ya! reli reli hope to see a genuinely happy keren b4 we go our separate ways!

Chocoholic said...

mwah thanks jie! we'll always have each other! =)