Messed up

I know I'm supposed to feel elated, excited, enthusiastic, overjoyed.. you name it.. but I'm just feeling the opposite. INTEC closing for a week due to the H1N1 virus is.... nothing but a shock to me. Going home is supposed to be a good thing. Having holidays come early is supposed to be like a dream come true. But the only thing I feel is messed up. My mind is a jumble of tangles and knots. I can't think well I can't function normally. The only thing on my mind is the cancellation of Mid-sem break. I had everything planned out so well. Planning how I was going to breeze pass this remaining month. Meeting my sister back home. Going for family outings. Meeting friends. The perfect august holidays. Now, its just like *poof* and everything is gone with a snap of your fingers. And have I mentioned about the price of the tickets..I don't know what to pack. I'm afraid, worried and feeling like I'm gonna cry again. This is so not what I should feel. Just when I thought I had my momentum going, finally having the willpower to survive this remaining few weeks, everything is just halted abruptly. I hope I'll survive. I do hope so.. I've just gotta untangle this mess in my head. Praying real hard. Telling myself everything happens for a reason. Trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Biting my tongue to stop cursing again. Praying real hard. I'll survive INTEC.... some how...