Showing posts with label Funny Chocolate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Chocolate. Show all posts

Monday, April 21, 2008

Funny Quotes

Caught Amy's Quote Fever. =D

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
( Pretty weird way to describe friendship. =p)

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
( Totally agree! )


It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
( True...)

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
( Love it! That's why we should enjoy life. =D)

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!


The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.


There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
( HAHAHAhahaha....)

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
( *evil grin* )

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
( I agree! )


You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson


The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
( Personal favourite =D)


Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.


Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
( Hell yea, especially profanities. )

He who laughs last didn't get it.
( Makes me think of Tina)

When there's a will, I want to be in it.
( what happened to the good 'ol " when there's a will, there's a way???!!!")

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
( Real handy tip eh? )

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
( HAHAHAahahahaa....that's why I don't fish)

The road to success is always under construction.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true.
Katherine Hepburn

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Fun Things to Do in a Final That Does Not Matter

Found this online. Amy might find it useful for her moral exam. =D

1. Bring a pillow.  Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes.  Wake up, say,
"oh geez, better get cracking," and do some gibberish work.
Turn it in a few minutes early.


2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming, "Andre, Andre,
I've got the secret documents!!"


3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form.
If it is long
answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols.
Be creative.Use the intregral symbol.


4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam.
Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.


5. Talk the entire way through the exam.
Read questions aloud,
debate your answers with yourself out loud.
If asked to stop, yell out,
"I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking."
Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.


6. Bring cheerleaders.


7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down.
About five minutes into it,
loudly say to the instructor,
"I don't understand ANY of this.
I've been to every lecture all semester long!
What's the deal? And who the hell are you?
Where's the regular guy?"


8. Bring a Game Boy and play it with the volume at
max level.


9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to
refuse to answer every question. For example:
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds
that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.


10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically.
Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor,
say, "They've found me, I have to leave
the country," and run off.


12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up,
rip up all the papers into very small pieces,
throw them into the air and yell out, "Merry Christmas."
If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam.
Say you lost the first one.
Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.


13. Do the exam with crayons, paint,
or fluorescent markers.


14. Come into the exam wearing slippers,
a bathrobe, a towel on your head,
and nothing else.


15. Come down with a BAD case of
Turet's Syndrome during the exam.
Be as vulgar as possible.


16. Do the entire exam in another language.
If you don't know one, make one up!
For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.


17. Bring things to throw at the instructor
when she/he is not looking.
Blame it on the person nearest to you.


18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.


19. Walk into the exam with an entourage.
Claim you are going to be taping
your next video during the exam.
Try to get the instructor to let them
stay, and be persuasive.
Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of
the profits if they are allowed to stay.


20. Every five minutes, stand up,
collect all your things, move to another
seat, and continue with the exam.


21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it.
As you walk out,start commenting on how easy it was.


22. Do the entire exam as if it was
multiple choice and true/false. If it
is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things
(DCCAB, BABE,etc..).


23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam
with all questions and answers completely blacked out.


24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it,
throw your papers down violently,
scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.


25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts
(i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not
everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour
to go drink).


26. Show up completely drunk.
(Completely drunk means at some point during
the exam, you should start crying for mommy).


27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly.
If the instructor asks why, tell
him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that
goes on above my head when I get an idea is
hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"


28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.


29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak.
After about 30 minutes, put on a
white mask and start yelling, "I'm here,
the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.


30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about,
where you know the class is very small,
and the instructor would recognize you if you
belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture.
Fight for your
right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over,
while laughing loudly, say, "you
don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel?
Days of our Lives is on!!!"


32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.


33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to
Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop.
When they finally get you to leave one way or another,
begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.


34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.


35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the
longest proofs you could possibly think of.
Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If
it is a written exam,
relate everything you your own life story.


36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with
sword and shield.


37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage
the entire way through the exam.
Insist this person is needed,
because you have bad circulation.


38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS
(make sure this is obvious...like
history notes for a calculus exam...otherwise you're
not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and
staple them to the exam, with the
comment, "Please use the attached notes for references
as you see fit."


39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.


40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over,
point to any question, and ask for the answer.
Try to work it out of him/her.


41. One word: Wrestlemania.


42. Bring balloons, blow them up,
start throwing them around like they do
before concerts start.


43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.


44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.


45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol.
Put it right next to you.
Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.


46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons,
telegrams, etc. sent to you
every few minutes throughout the exam.


47. During the exam, take apart everything
around you--desks, chairs,anything you can reach.


48. Complete the exam with everything you write
being backwards at a 90 degree angle.


49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes.
If you are asked to stop, say, "it helps me think."
Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you,
challenging the instructor to find the section on musical
instruments during finals. Don't forget to us the phrase,
"Told you so."


50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons
Why Professor xxxx Sucks."

Monday, April 7, 2008

A Picture Says A Thousand Words And Much More


Makes you wonder what kind of bitch is in training.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

JAPP Chocolate Bar Ad

For Your Entertainment. =)

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Firday

Found this sign at KHS back gate.


Not bad eh..a sign showing what time the back gate will be open on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday and Friday Firday.


Okay, so all the 17+ years of my life I've learned that there is a Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Saturday and Sunday. But a Firday?Hmm.. that's new. So, i decided to search Wikipedia for its meaning. Results? There is no page containing the word "Firday". Google-d it. A Did You Mean:Friday came out. Gosh, this IS killing me. What the choc.


Anyways,decided to use the back gate..and well..


It was lock. Full stop. Checked my watch? 11.50a.m. Wait.... on Firday,it's open from 11.35-11.50 pm...yup.its open at night. For choc-knows-who to come in.

And, alright. Fine. I ain't a KHS student (anymore). But I have to say I REALLY love this sign.

P/s View Amy's blog for her version of this.