Messed up

I know I'm supposed to feel elated, excited, enthusiastic, overjoyed.. you name it.. but I'm just feeling the opposite. INTEC closing for a week due to the H1N1 virus is.... nothing but a shock to me. Going home is supposed to be a good thing. Having holidays come early is supposed to be like a dream come true. But the only thing I feel is messed up. My mind is a jumble of tangles and knots. I can't think well I can't function normally. The only thing on my mind is the cancellation of Mid-sem break. I had everything planned out so well. Planning how I was going to breeze pass this remaining month. Meeting my sister back home. Going for family outings. Meeting friends. The perfect august holidays. Now, its just like *poof* and everything is gone with a snap of your fingers. And have I mentioned about the price of the tickets..I don't know what to pack. I'm afraid, worried and feeling like I'm gonna cry again. This is so not what I should feel. Just when I thought I had my momentum going, finally having the willpower to survive this remaining few weeks, everything is just halted abruptly. I hope I'll survive. I do hope so.. I've just gotta untangle this mess in my head. Praying real hard. Telling myself everything happens for a reason. Trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Biting my tongue to stop cursing again. Praying real hard. I'll survive INTEC.... some how...

Growing up

The emotional tortures, why doesn't it ever go away?

As time passes, isn't one suppose to get use to everything?

Why is the frustration and tears still there?

Why does the tears flow for no reason?

Why does the urge to scream doesn't ever go away?

Why does the ability to laugh naturally seems far-fetched?

Why does memories cause you to lose control?

Why does staring into space become a daily routine?

Why does the feeling to curl up into a ball and shut yourself away from the world seems welcoming?

Why do you feel like you're losing your mind?

Why do you feel hopeless?

Why can't the tears stop?

Why can't anyone stop the pain?

Why can't everything be as it was?

Why can't anything seem to be able to cheer you up?

Why does growing up hurt so much?

Why do we have to grow up?

Emo-ing

Can I don't go back???

starting to have nightmares again..... T.T

Kuching Outing Photos

Brownies =)

Photos taken by my bro..drooling now? =)

Permai Trip I love

Woohoo... went kayaking for the first time. Ever. Ever. Am elated. Excited. Proud of myself. 

Day started off with Florence asking whether she'll have the chance to see a jellyfish up close and personal. This girl is really one of a kind. For most people, jellyfish=deadly=stay away . Her interpretation is jellyfish=interesting=let's examine. >.<' Our theme song for the day was "Move It, Move It", don't ask me why, that song just pop out of nowhere.

Flo became my kayaking partner. Tina opt to stay on the beach where its safer and where you have no chance of your boat capsizing and causing you to drown (kidding 'bout the drowning part). Flo utilized the precious moments we had alone on our kayak by educating me about starfishes and jellyfishes which are her current obsession ( CJK better watch out. =) starfishes and jellyfishes shall be your worst enemy. =P). Had a blur memory of her saying something about starfishes being dangerous because they can attach to you and secrete some enzymes (blah) which dissolves your tissue??? Sorry Flo dear, I was too busy trying to get our boat on course. Somehow magically our kayak keep seeming to deviate from our planned course and headed towards jellyfishes. I think it has something to do with Flo who kept yelling "jellyfishes, come to mama" =.=' We were the last to arrive at the meeting point and my bro's friend had the nerve to announce solemnly ala amazing race style " I'm sorry to say you're the last team to arrive...."

On the way back one kayak actually capsized. Somehow. Despite my bro saying that the chances of capsizing= chances of getting into an accident on the road on the way back. But all was fine. =) 

We attempted to play frisbee for a while but gave up eventually cos the weather was scorchingly hot. The sand was practically burning our feet. Flo was excited to find a dead jellyfish drifting in a stream and started prodding it with a stick. Somehow, we eventually got around to dissecting the jellyfish using a piece of broken plastic and used the frisbee as a plate to hold the jellyfish pieces. =P

We played saboteur again! Full version!! =) 10 players =) Amy, if you're reading this, Tina is still so adorably blur! haha, she kena influenced by Flo and helped the wrong team. =P Somebody, anybody wanna play? :) 

All in all, it was a great day. Got to meet some of me juniors I haven't met for ages. Angelina, Shu Yi, Val, baby Char, claudia, Agnes..... =) me misses you all lots.. =) 

The Weather

Am feeling so utterly sticky now....

Am super glad I'm nowhere near Shah Alam..

Am uber thankful that my parents installed an air-con unit in my room

Am annoyed why I can't seem to be able to transfer photos from my hp to the computer

Am supposed to be in bed right now

Am wondering what I did for the past 2 weeks

Am chastising myself for not starting to edit my bio unit 3 thingy

Am procrastinating

Am blog-hopping

Am amazed how one's blog reveals so much about one's personality

Am realizing how kepo I'm by reading other's blog

Am reassuring self that it is a girl's nature to be kepo

Am repeatedly trying to transfer data from my hp to the lappie

Am missing my 5s2 gang badly 

Am regretting how much we all have seem to drift apart

Am missing my KHS juniors..

Am missing my sons and daughters and grandsons n granddaughters..

you guys know who you are =)

Am wishing I didn't even stepped into INTEC 

Am hopeful that this is just a bad dream

Am wishing to be young and carefree again

Am praying hard that this hols passes super duper slowly 

Am being emo again

Am hating Shah Alam

for no apparent reason

Am satisfied cuz I managed to transfer the photos

finally

Am having to turn in now

Big day ahead

Yawn

Up ahead...scandalous sem 2 pictures...kidding

Seven Pounds

Go watch. Touching. Moving. Saddening. Will Smith is a superb actor. Amazing story that shows how one person can change and touch the lives of so many others. Makes you wonder what you could do for the world.

Movies, tv shows and such

Night at the museum 2 was hilarious. A great watch. =) Practically laughed my head off watching it.

Wait...where's my head? =P  

Finally got a good look at Kuching's only functioning cinema which was and still is under renovation. Obviously the cinema has turned into someone's fantasy land. The colours are...erm amazing. The lifts are now brightly lit. And the lifts are so new till the open buttons on the lift are not functioning. =P

The final episode of season 2 of Gossip Girl was satisfying enough. Finally, F-I-N-A-L-L-Y the emergence of Chair(chuck+blair). The ending was sweet..can't wait for more.

Bride wars was so-so. A few funny moments here and there. But it still can't beat 27 dresses. That movie just makes you go "Awwwwwwww........"

Hotel for Dogs is cute. That sorta light, enjoyable disney-like happy-ending movies. The dogs are so adorableeeeeeeeeeeee........

Wolverine is gooooooddddddd if you're watching the original. If you've got the ciplak copy of it expect wires hanging everywhere and an imaginary island. HAHAHA, its hilarious once you come to think of it. =D but its still good.

Shopaholic is embarrassingly funny. In a bimbotic way.

Angus, thongs and perfect snogging is nice nice nice especially if you're a girl. *drools* If you get what I mean. Brits speak so....*sigh blissfully*

Marley and me is a good watch too. =) ROFL at the part when Marley was half out of the car (watch and you'll know). Sad ending though. Beware, it can make you cry. sniff.

Scanned through Butterfly Effect 3. Gross. Seriously gross. BE3 turned into some horror film filled with gore. So much for a superb Butterfly Effect 1 and 2.

Be With You is touching. An amazing japanese love story. Family orientated kind not the typical soapy moany love triangle blah crap.

Chuck season 2 is nice. Woot~ Chuck knows kung fuuuuuuuuuu..... =D

Taylor Swift's latest album is a hit!! whoa~~ 

p/s Saboteur anyone??? Laser tag?? 

Second Sem Conquered

And before you know it, another semester is gone. It always amazes me how fast time passes. I can't believe tat about a year ago I entered INTEC. One year, 12 months, 365 days, 21900 hours, 1314000 minutes, 78840000 seconds of my life just pass by like that. =) Maybe its the fact that I kept looking forward to coming back that the rest of the days seems to drift by, maybe its because my life there is so mundane and routine (or simply you say i have no life there =p),or maybe its because this sem was so packed with assignments, reports, tests etc etc that time seems to fly, anyway I'm just glad to be back A-G-A-I-N ( i know I've repeated this countless times, but when you're stuck in a place called Shah Alam Section 18 all you can dream of is coming back to your home.)

To sum up this semester has been err... Hectic? I can proudly declare I've been a really really good girl this sem. Remember how I used to say how I cannot stand not going out of shah alam for a week? Well, this sem has been different. I can stand weeks and weeks just being cooped up in my hostel..err studying...>.< (longest record being 7 weeks =.='). I seriously do not recommend anyone to try this out. The after effects are not too good, kinda like got addicted to studying, and that's not a good thing. =p Currently recuperating by catching up on gossip girl, eh wei how can nate and vanessa break up.. digressing there a moment. =P Sorry.

Even after staying at Shah Alam for almost a year, I can say I've yet to fall in love with the place. There's still many things I complain about. The rules, the *groan* dress code, the administration, the lifestyle and lots of other stuff. But I've learn to appreciate the little things in life that happen just when you need it to. Even though the place might and will always feel alien to me, the people that I've realized that there  will always be someone  there to pull me through the tough times. Throughout this whole year here I've really feel blessed to have a whole bunch of superb friends back in Kuching, and meeting a whole new group of friends in INTEC. When I'm feeling really lonely there will always be my gang back in Kuching who will sms me cheering me up. When worry overcomes me, there's Amy.  When homesickness causes me to tear, there's always my ever-cheerful roomie there for me. When frustration and stress kicks in hard, there's always my jogging hours where I meet up with my so called "jie" to vent out my anger and frustrations. Then there's my classmates that are able to somehow sense my unhappiness and offer words of encouragement, and there are also those friends who can be so spontaneous and adorable sometimes its hard to even feel down around them. In short, the friends here and back home are wonderful. Just wonderful. =D

The flight back home to Kuching was nice. Mainly with me blabbering aimlessly. =) Anyways got some pretty cool tunes to listen to throughout hols. And I really should learn how to take a self-shot using my camera. =D